Achtung, it's Weissblech Comics Wednesday

Lately I have been mentioning the good folks from Weissblech Comics a lot in my posts so I thought it is about time to do that long overdue spotlight post on them that I promised my faithful followers ages ago.

Because I was just going through the files and I thought that I should better do something with the over 300 pictures I had on my laptop as long as I still can. And since we just had a post about DC Comics Bronze Age horror anthology series I thought we could continue this topic with the best horror anthology series published in Germany at the moment.

HAMMERHARTE HORROR SCHOCKER ! Since I have written about this - as well as all the other splendid books Weissblech Comics puts out like CAPTAIN BERLIN, LUBA WOLFSCHWANZ or ZOMBIEMAN - ad nauseum I don't have to bore you with long essays about how brilliant those books are and we can get right to the good stuff. Apropos, since I have to rely solely on pictures I find on the internet there is no original art in here and this is all material from the previews Weissblech Comics themselves put on the internet. So we should be in the clear here. Last but not least there is no art by Weissblech Comic founder, publisher and basically one man show Levin Kurio in this because I wanted to concentrate on some of the great guest artists that have graced the pages of this magazine.

There also are no pages from THE LEP in this because there is enough for a well deserved solo post on the man. And now let's dive into some old school german style horror with the words from another german cult horror anthology comic series : Seltsam, aber so steht es geschrieben.

fortsetzung folgt

stuff

links

videos

captain berlin

damned

live action remakes

halle bailey 37B - 24 - 35

ballett

Speaking of busty blondes, it has been a hot minute since I included a video with tittylating german Übersexbombe Ruth Moschner. She got plenty of exposure - although not in the naked PLAYBOY pictorial way me and the rest of Germany´s horny males hoped for - since she started her career on Freitag Nacht News. Which was as much critique on politics and politicians as you are ever going to see on german television sets.

Unlike in America, where you have shows like The Daily Show where politicians are regularly called out for their bs in Germany you can only do that as long as it´s supposed to be in the form of a joke or satire. Any real deconstruction of politicians gets you taken off the air very quickly.

Anyway, back to Ruth Moschner, despite playing Secret Agent DD on Freitag Nacht News for a long time she was very secretive about her breastsize and the only thing she admitted was that it used to be more.

Now I have found a site that claims that Ruth Moschner is a B cup at best which is hard to believe when you have seen her titanic teutonic twin torpedoes in action. Well, if the website is right Ruth Moscher´s real measurements are 87 - 65 - 92 which for US readers are 34 - 26 - 36.

black

soul

gremlins 2

One of the best things - if not THE best thing - in the first two Gremlin movies is without a doubt cult siren Phoebe Cates who was the IT girl and the number 1 wet dream for all males growing up in the 80s and no other female celebrity embodied the spirit of that decade like Phoebe.

Because hot Phoebe is just the total package : not only a breathtakingly stunning beauty with an easy going down to earth persona and one of the best smiles. She is also smoking hot and the nice girl next door as well as the secret oral nymphomaniac that dicktamed the entire football team.

She is as good at playing the nice girl next door we all wish we had as a girlfriend so we can introduce her to our mother in Gremlins as being the most wanted sexbomb on campus that you would make sure to never introduce her to your Dad because he would totally steal her and make her his new personal blow up sex doll in Fast Times At Ridgemont High.

On top of her incredible beauty and a body that was made for porn with its 35C - 23 - 35 measurements she is an exotic mix of russian, chinese and filipino descent so you know that she is a natural born men milking machine who can spread her long legs better than a filipino prostitute.

Just ask her husband, Kevin Kline who played a gay teacher in In & Out but is definitely not gay in real life since he hooked up with an ultimate sex machine like Phoebe Cates. Speaking of gay, the military used Phoebe Cates nude scenes from Paradise as a test to determine if somebody really was gay or only pretended to be gay until a lawyer vetoed the use of that material arguing that the sight of Phoebe Cates nude body would give even the most gay soldiers an instant erection.

Coming back to the lucky S.O.B. Kevin Kline, he married Phoebe Cates in 1989 when she was 25 and he was 41 and he has been banging her for the last 40 years. Man, that's your life goal accomplished right there !

Marry a chinese / fillipino sex goddess who is the wet sex dream of an entire generation when she is just at the right age to be legal but not too experienced and dicktame her for the next 40 years. Although I bet with her almost indestructible, tireless hasian porn body it was Phoebe who did the taming as rumours say their honeymoon - that was supposed to be only a weekend long - turned into a whole week of sweaty asian ejaculation sex matahons because Kevin could not stop banging Phoebe's brain out six ways to Sunday who is a real tornado between the sheets.

Insiders report that at the climax of their squirt orgy she was writhing in convulsions, screaming at the top of her lungs and foaming at the mouth and almost pounded him into a coma with her extreme sex techniques.

Of course Phoebe Cates made a lasting impression on teenaged Subzero when she did the full monty in the aforementioned Paradise, a movie that was trying to cash in on the success of The Blue Lagoon with 80s star Brooke Shields ( about which you can read more in this post ).

If you haven´t seen Paradise you MUST check it out ! Phoebe Cates nude scenes alone are worth the price of admission as it is the only film where she did full on nudity apart from her famous scene in Fast Times At Ridgemont High where she comes out of a pool and takes her top off.

Now I did find a version of Paradise with the original sound that is in better quality than the last ones I posted but of course it has an age restriction. I am still including it so that the ones who have not already seen it can at least watch it on YouTube. Enjoy the movie while it lasts !

tom selleck

dark

twisted tales

The narrator of Twisted Tales is Bryan Brown who appeared in F / X, F / X 2 and more importantly Tai Pan in which cult siren Janine Turner displays the most daring cleavage without going completely topless.

As my faithful readers know I am a huge fan of Northern Exposure, one of THE best tv shows that ever aired and subsequently of Janine Turner.

Sadly there are not a lot of clips from Northern Exposure on YouTube and the few I found have all been deleted. What is also difficult to come by are performances by Janine Turner where she can really show her stuff.

One I still vividly remember was episode 2 from the sixth season of Mike Hammer called Bonecrush in which a 22 year old Janine Turner played a nymphomanic ( aren´t all women in this series nymphomanic, especially the buxom Hammerettes ? ) horny sexbomb which she had no problem pulling off thanks to Janine´s bonerinducing 40C - 22 - 37 measurements.

Every normal, red - blooded guy would have done her in a minute but as always in the show since Mike Hammer knew her for such a long time he saw her more like a little sister than a born for porn sexual partner. One of Janine Turner´s breast scenes is when she tries to get Mike aroused wearing a super ventilated red shirt. That shirt had so many cleavage windows that it was basically just a lot of thin stripes which only barely covered her spectacular breasts leaving not much to the imagination.

When Janine´s character didn´t manage to get Mike aroused she was - understandably - miffed so when Mike´s only remaining friend in the police department ... at least his only male friend. As he seems to have an unlimited supply of female acquaintances willing to do whatever Mike Hammer needs them to do in the hopes of getting a big taste of ye olde patented 150 percent satisfucktion guaranteed Mike Hammer meatpole.

Like the thirsty, big breasted real life Power Girl below played by none other than PLAYBOY´s Playmate Of The Month for March in 1982, blonde 34C - 23 - 33 blow up sex doll extreme Karen Lorre formerly Witter (& you can read more about the buxom beauty in the big finale to my Hugh Hefner tribute series from 2020 ) and whom regular blog readers might remember since she appeared in a few episodes of Mike Hammer, most notably in the episode Kill Devilwith her famous picture album scene.

Sexy Karen also had bit parts on Trapper John M. D., Cheers,The Vineyard,The X - Files,Sabrina the Teenage Witch,NYPD Blue and Malcolm in the Middle. She also appeared in the movie Another Chance.

From 1990 to 1994 Karen had a contract role as the 4th Tina Lord on ABC´s soap opera One Life to Live, for which she was nominated for a 1991 Soap Opera Digest Award for Outstanding Female Newcomer in Daytime.

And to close the part about Busenwunder Karen Witter she later played Nemesis in Hercules : The Legendary Journeys, in the seventh episode.

Coming back to Janine Turner´s character, after Mike Hammer spurns her proposition to assume the position ( or more likely the positions since she intends to have sexual intercourse with Mike many positions in all night long ) Mike Hammer´s only remaining - male - friend in the police departement walks in and she blatantly asks him if his old friend Mike has some performance problems with his little Mike. Which is the only reasonable explanation for not slambanging Janine Turner´s brains out.

And with that thought in mind we come back to TAI PAN in which Janine Turner doesn´t wear only one, nor just two but at least three different dresses that show off her breast features. And when I say " show off her breast features " I mean expose her upper body completely while still managing to cover her nippels. It´s like she´s advertising motorboating and the only thing mising is a sign that reads " Best double breasted dick massages in town. Special offer : bring one friend and get a deepthroat blowjob for free. No age check. " I have no idea how the costume person got away with this or if it is even historically accurate and I don´t care.